Beta Readers' Advanced Copies Sent

Is it normal to want to vomit right now?

I have heard people say that they “feel sick” over doing something really difficult. I even wrote this characteristic into my soon-to-be-published conspiracy thriller’s main character, Catalina Cruz. Even though she is a tough, tenacious, Latina TV news reporter, she gets queasy and (spoiler alert!) sometimes even faints when things get ugly on stories she is covering. As a plot point it is a great way to suddenly change the direction of the action and I’d like to think in this case it fits the story.

But feeling physically sick over doing hard things has never been my own disposition. Overwhelmed, yes. Stressed, absolutely. Grumpy towards the people in my blast radius, for sure. But feeling like vomiting? Not really.

Except for this very moment. Why sure, I could send my first born off to the US Naval Academy, without so much as a sour stomach. Yes, I am currently living on a boat with my beloveds and traveling to strange new (and cool!) places where there are lots of uncomfortable, stressful moments. Never once have I felt like I might lose my lunch.

Until right now.

I just sent my novel, “Death Wounds” off to six beta readers and the moment I hit, “send,” I noticed that I was having a very visceral reaction. For about thirty seconds I actually thought I might throw up.

But I am happy to report that I didn’t puke, and now that feeling is gone. After 25+ years of working on it, my baby is actually in other people’s hands. People I respect. People who, even if I really did throw up, would probably still love me.

Ever since I decided to explore being a full-time author last November, it has all felt like pretending. Even publishing my sailing memoir felt like a little thing I only did for posterity’s sake. But sending my work of fiction out to beta readers? This feels very, very real. Like I just stood on a stage (naked, of course!) at Carnegie Hall and shouted, “Hey everyone, I’m an AUTHOR! Take your best shots.”

So, I guess I am really doing this. Thanks for being here to join me on this wild ride!

Kungaloosh Adventurers!

-Rosa Linda

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